Remember when you were young and you took a book out of the library that was all about SHARKS and you became completely enthralled by nature and you wanted to know MORE and it made you really excited? You had a favourite shark (Great White. Obvs.), you learned some of the species names (total nerd in the making), and you thought that working with Sharks, with nature, as a SCIENTIST would be the coolest ever. I miss that feeling, you guys.
The hard truth: Science and I have grown apart as of late. As fellow scientists, I know that might be difficult for you guys to hear, but it’s something that’s been gradually eating away at me for a while (not unlike a shark… you know, one of those gradual-eating sharks). At first I was very hesitant about posting this because I didn’t want you guys to think I was abandoning Science like a dead-beat dad, or badmouthing her behind her back, or was ungrateful for the paid Science-y position I find myself in today. But then I realized you guys don’t think like that. Duh.
Flashback montage: Back in the day I was interested in a lot of topics at school (see nerd reference above) – not just Biology and the Sciences, but also Art, English, Film/Communication, and Maths, among others. I was also never one of those people who’ve known exactly what they’ve wanted to do since birth (seriously, how annoying are those people). Instead, I vividly remember thinking that the perfect career wouldn’t be one career, but a career mosaic where each day of the week I’d have a different career: Monday I would be a Veterinarian, Tuesday I would be an Architect, Wednesday I would be a Writer, etc. To be honest, I still think like that. So when the time came to choose a career path in high school, I had a lot of options because I liked so many different things. Decisiveness was never my strong suit, and still isn’t. I can’t say that Science was my first love (sorry, Science), but I decided to pursue it because I was very interested in it, I was good at it, and (here’s the kicker) it seemed more stable/predictable/within-my-comfort-zone than a creative career path.
My love affair with Science lasted throughout undergrad and grad school, but once I defended my thesis, Science and I went through a rocky period otherwise known as “burn-out”. We sorted out our differences and I pursued Science-y jobs, but it was clear that our honeymoon phase was over and I started to develop a wandering eye. Now here I am in a Science-y job and my heart just isn’t in it. I thought this job would patch things up for us, but that hasn’t been the case. Maybe I just need to find something Science-y that is also creative (does Science have a good-looking sister or friend?), or maybe it’s time I start the transition to a Tuesday career. What do you think guys? Aren’t sharks awesome?
